Experiencing Purim on secular campus is like licking the lunchroom floor: something you think is cool at the time but really just leaves hairs in your mouth.
The descendants of Agag tried to separate the nation and rip us apart. So you decide to overcompensate by coming very close and grinding on your friends. V'nahafochu.
We were all nearly eradicated because of attending a non-Jewish, kosher food party. So you go to a Jewish, non-kosher environment party. Vnahafochu.
Haman wanted to delete the name of the Jewish people from history. And you succeed in smudging your own name last night as the guy who become so inebriated, he wrote his name in urine on the sidewalk. V'nahafochu.
An actual quote: "quick, I need to eat something, otherwise I may get so drunk that I'll take off all my clothes."
I'm not angry. I'm not sad. I just worry about you...and I need some mouthwash.
A very hairy mouth