Thursday, February 27, 2014

Happy Thursday everyone. Feel humble: Today was the day that G-d decided to create the earthworm before you and all mankind.

I thought I would share an interesting lecture that took place in geology class today. 3,2,1, ready or not here it comes!....evolution. Ignorance is the best word to describe my association with negotiating evolution and Judaism.

I have heard countless theories, for example, each day of creation was in fact equivalent to billions of years, or how dinosaurs existed prior to the flood during Noah's generation. The strangest theory I have yet to encounter, is that G-d put fossils on earth to confuse and test mankind. This all just sounds like bologna- not the Aaron's Glatt Kosher kind- the Hebrew National "no if, and s, or butt's" kind.

The Professor discussed rock sediments discovered to have been 50 billion years old, and half-mockingly mentioned the poly-century held Judeo-Christian belief that the world, according to the Old Testament is about 6,000 years old. As the words "Judeo" escaped his lips, I slowly began to sink in my chair. The room became measurably warmer, and I had to reach out and physically touch my forehead to make sure there was no sign on my forehead stamped "Jew."

I blame my high school for not equipping me with sources that I should have primed at the mention of "Natural Selection," and  Franklin Schaffner for bringing Planet of The Apes from  an unnoticed novel to a Hollywood blockbuster. I blame my seminary for not directing me to sources, and stupid theorists who says the 3.2 million year old bones of Lucy are there to test the extent of my belief in G-d.

I blame myself for believing I am too ignorant to "get it," let alone question.

Class continues Monday......(is that the second day or 20 billionth year...?)... and I'll update you.

Sincerely,

"Gadol Ado-shem u'mihullal mi'od v'ligidulato ain cheker": G-d is great and exceedingly lauded, and His greatness is beyond investigation.

-Ashrei/Praise (a prayer recited three times a day in Jewish custom)



Sunday, February 23, 2014

It is I, back from the blogger's graveyard. It takes more than a failed Introduction to English assignment  kick to the head and some gastrointestinal problems to kill this writer. Time to blow off the metaphoric dust and turn over a new leafy computer byte.

Some updates:
1. Apparently it took me coming to secular college, for me to learn Gemara for the first time. Gave a shiur two weeks ago during Nachos and Nigguns. #Gemaraiscool #learninghashtag

2. Went to a Jewish Women's Panel today. Learned I will earn .79 cents for every dollar Bobby will earn just because I was born with breasts, and Bobby can grow a beard, went through major awkward pubescent voice staccato, and can pee standing. Until society is ready to change from their colonial image of women worth, I have to be satisfied that I can give birth to a Bobby.

3.Explaining second days of the Passover to my professors, as a sequel to my people's exodus from Egyptian bondage, while doing laundry and paying 2.75 cents to wash dirty kikki rikkis, is a great way to spend my Sunday.

Sincerely,
 #3testsoverpesach #screwed