Thursday, January 2, 2014

2014 Collegadox Resolutions

Collegadox: The funny existence of an Orthodox Jewish girl whose parents pushed for Stern College, her heart desired  Bar Ilan, yet was blackmailed to return to the States, and is now giving kosher 101 on chewing cud and split hooves to her South Korean neighbor at Secular College.

2014 New Years Resolutions:

1. Attempt Spirituality-  go to prayer services every morning trying not to distract the guys, while at the same time making the impression of...future wife??

2. Look at Hillel food optimistically- ignore how they arrange yesterday's wilted green beans in the center of the mashed potato stew at lunch, and try your best not to cringe when Yehudah talks to you and has the menacing bean stuck between his incisors.

3. Don't judge-  make room for your friend (for the past two months) who had "such an inspirational and growth filled year" last year at Jerusalem's finest seminary, when she passes out on your bed for the night and you spot an ominous looking kiwi-sized hickey across her throat
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4. Understand terminology - learn quickly because the things you think are innocent are really saturated with dirty double meanings which will unquestionably, be understood that way. You will never tell a guy "I want you to come," without turning a deep rose shade again. Naivety at college is like a sheared lamb. Pink, Unsexy, and fun to point and laugh at. 

5.  Say "No"- So it didn't really work out back in 2013 when I was dragged onto El-Al and forced to leave Israel against my will... regardless, compliance to bend my moral, religious values is not an option. 

Sincerely, 
Celebrating Julius Cesar's Rosh Hashana (New Years)

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